INTRODUCING...
The Relationship You Want
The Relationship You Want
How to Be Seen, Heard, and Understood in the Most Meaningful Relationships in Your Life
There can be no “significant other” if there isn’t first a “significant YOU.” Are you ready to go after the relationship you want?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I'm Cynthia!
I have spent the last fifty years working with couples, individuals and family members as a holistic psychotherapist and relationship coach. Here I am now, having come full circle.
I remember being 11 years old and reading my mother’s magazine column, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?", intrigued by the complexities of relationships. Now, as an adult with my own life experiences and a background in working with couples, I have gained a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics. I feel honored to create a supportive space for anyone willing to embark on this journey of self-awareness.
What would it be like if you could go through the steps of the Relationship Truth Framework and end up in the space of Living Your Truth with the courage to ask questions that will lead you to the relationship you want?
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Introduction: Finding My Anger
I was in the hot seat.
Ten sets of eyes were on me as I struggled to share my feelings.
I felt very vulnerable at that moment. These were relative strangers, after all, and I was expected to “open up” about an event that had been very upsetting to me.
I was in training to be a therapist, and part of the process involved taking turns and practicing with each other, alternately playing the roles of therapist, client, or observer. This all played out in front of a therapist trainer.
The person in the therapist role, opposite me, tried to elicit my feelings. “I feel sad, and I feel hurt,” I said with tears in my eyes.
Given the story I had just shared, the student-therapist suggested I should be feeling more feelings than that.
“Were you feeling angry?” I was asked.
I paused to think.
I didn’t relate to this suggestion. It didn’t feel like a yes, so I said No.
Yet the student-therapist continued to push back, not convinced I didn’t feel angry. Later, as the group discussed what they had observed, there seemed to be a consensus that there was indeed some unexpressed anger in me.
I left the session feeling utterly devastated.
Me? Angry? In that situation? Not possible.
You see, I truly believed the message I had received growing up: “Nice people don’t get angry.’”
And I was definitely invested in being nice.
Which meant anger was simply not acceptable.
It’s not that I never expressed anger, just not very often.
As a therapist, I would eventually learn just how powerful the coping mechanism of denial could be. Even more importantly, after having counseled thousands of clients who struggle in their relationships, I have come to conclude that there can be no “significant other” if there isn’t first a “significant YOU.”Sign up to unlock the rest of the INTRODUCTION for free!
INTRODUCTION
I was in the hot seat.
Ten sets of eyes were on me as I struggled to share my feelings.
I felt very vulnerable at that moment. These were relative strangers, after all, and I was expected to “open up” about an event that had been very upsetting to me.
INTRODUCTION
I was in the hot seat.
Ten sets of eyes were on me as I struggled to share my feelings.
I felt very vulnerable at that moment. These were relative strangers, after all, and I was expected to “open up” about an event that had been very upsetting to me.
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